Curiosity as a clinical tool: the questions systemic therapists ask
A family is asked an ordinary question: “Why do you think your son is so angry?” Everyone gives the answer they always give, and the conversation goes exactly where it always goes. Then the question changes. “When your son gets angry, who in the family notices first? And what does that person do?” There is a pause. The younger sister says it is always her, because she goes and gets Mum. Mum hadn’t known that. Something new has entered the room.
That second question is called a circular question, and it is one of the signature tools of systemic therapy. The Canadian psychiatrist Karl Tomm showed that every question a therapist asks is already an intervention, because it shapes what a family notices about itself. Some questions confirm the story people already hold. Others invite them to see their situation from outside, which is often where change starts.
The Italian psychiatrist Gianfranco Cecchin argued that the most important quality in a systemic therapist is curiosity. His point was that the moment a therapist becomes certain about what is wrong with a family, they stop being able to help it. Holding ideas lightly, including your own favourite theories, keeps the conversation open.
The Norwegian psychiatrist Tom Andersen took this further. In the 1980s, families in therapy were often observed by a team behind a one-way mirror. Andersen’s team switched the lights so the family could listen to the professionals discussing them instead. As he put it, “we dared to let them see us work”. Families heard several perspectives rather than one expert verdict, and could choose what fitted.
These ideas shape how I work with families and individuals alike. You won’t get a lecture or a diagnosis handed down. You will get questions that help you see your situation from angles you might not have tried. Read more about the systemic ideas I draw on, or get in touch.